Discouraged----Energy

You might not have been able to tell by my post last week that I wasn't having such a swell time. Basically last week I was depressed and discouraged. Several things, thoughts, ideas, had been building up for a while and for several days I was "down" and not myself. On Wednesday things climaxed (this is sounding like a novel!) when we had our staff set-up meeting. I look forward to this time where we talk about how Underground is going, and pray for each other. We usually go around saying how we're doing, and what we'd like prayer for. Usually, even when I'm having a rough week, I still see a positive side to things, and remember God's goodness. Usually when I say how I'm doing I present the positive side too. This week I said straight up "I'm discouraged". No positive spin on it. What was really dissapointing was that no one noticed enough to personally encourage me. And I didn't want to pry it out of people, if you know what I mean.

On Thrusday I dedided to talk with Richard about it, and am really glad I did so. Rich is always so good at recieving feed back. We talked about how, beccause I almost always look like I'm doing fine, people assume I will pull myself up. I explained how I'm weaker than I look, and need people's support. "Pity the man who has no one to pick him up when he falls". Rich was encouraging, and without me prying stuff out of him ;), said just what I needed to hear. He also encouraged me in taking a complete day off each week, which I'd been thinking about for a while. Yay!

I'm stil thinking alot about this whole commuity thing, and how much we need each other, and interdependence, and trusting in God, and endurance, and encouraging each other, and how they all fit together. "Interpersonal" stuff.

I learned this week that I definetly appreciate people who care about how I'm doing, and that I can be honest about what's up, and tell people plainly when I'm not doing well.

Oh, and, fitting with my emotional health I was sick all week. Amazingly, I'm doing well now, even after an all nighter 30hr famine.

I had been dreading the 30 hr famine (us Treaders were involved with it a Courtenay Middle School). Friday thankfully I woke up feeling more like myself, and was glad to have hard workers around to keep me going as we set up. After the "gym blast" kick off, different activites were availible throughout the night: bounce mania thing, open gym, movies, x-box, braceltets, etc.

Surprisingly the hardest hour was 10-11 as I tried to sleep and wondered how I would make it through the night/morning. After than, majorly praying for strength!, I enjoyed getting to know some girls, playing 21, monopoly and talking. It was so neat to get to know three girls in partifular-- they were three beutiful grade 7s, the kind of girls who I would hang out with if I were in thier grade seven class, I guess they are still the girls I'd hang out with, even though I'm not int their class ;)

We had fun laughing, dealing with overtiredness, talking about books, and favourites thises and thats....etc. A memorable moment was rolling on the flour at like 5:15 am, thinking about how comical it was, here me, a college student, rolling on a middle school halway, and loving it...and being overtired!

With these girls, and the other perifery ones who came and went, I definetly "found my groove". I'm not into the big group stuff, but hanging out with them, and checking in on our crew was my energy supply.